Anti-ageing vs well-ageing

Anti-ageing vs well-ageing

I am 47 and want to look the best for my age, not 20.

The new (may be not so new) obsession: being and remaining forever young looking. Anti-ageing does not make much sense to me, and here some will jump against me. Trying to stop something which is inevitable by nature does not make sense to me, and the whole skin care retail was selling for decades using this. Meanwhile women all over the world aged, but without peace of mind and having difficulties to accept what they were seeing in the mirror. It is time to open our eyes, accept, embrace and enjoy ourselves, our skin and the way we look. It is high time we were honest with our customers and explain that ageing can be a wonderful thing if occurring in a good way.

I am coming from a part of the world where women age graciously, without too much focusing and obsessing about it, because it will happen no matter if they stress about it. This is the smart way to go. Every age has its beauty, pros and cons, weaknesses and strengths and if you focus on the healthy positivity the result cannot be different, but awesome. What is well-ageing or pro-ageing as some people define it? It is very simple – it means working with your body, using moisture, antioxidants, and cell turnover to keep skin looking its best, and not only. Feeling good from inside out is part of ageing well. Women should not compromise how they feel for few wrinkles less, which will appear anyway. A personal example – as every woman in my 40s I decided to start with the lightest version of retinol. After the first application the skin on my temples started burning and this “anti-ageing treatment” provided me sensitivity in this part of my face and months of recovering the damaged skin barrier. In fact, it may be the best active out there, retinol is off the table for me.

Well-ageing is all about good healthy habits from young age, a healthy lifestyle and healthy approach to food and sleep, that’s all. As it comes to skin care it is clean, protect and hydrate. If you do this from young age, you will not have to “fight” your age, you will age gracefully, trust me. People confuse ageing for a cosmetical term with biological process. Your hair also ages, why women are not so obsessed with the hair? 

Another aspect of the anti-ageing movement is that the skin care industry can be ageist or shameful. Having wrinkles or showing off your age is not good – everyone should fit in the “super model” image of a skinny 21 year old, pale woman, with a rare smile on her face. Accepting your laugh lines and loosening skin is not good, immediately the woman get qualified as “old” or “not fresh”. Others want tot look young as possible for as long as they can. Both mentalities are OK with me, as long as nobody puts shame barriers about growing older.

Why pro-ageing is the new anti-ageing?

According to dermatologists (and myself), the best skincare is one of preventative action, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and listening to the changing needs of your skin. It doesn’t mean that retinol and other actives should be abolished. Instead dermatologists, aestheticians and skin care companies, should focus on supporting the skin’s natural progression. Pro-ageing is simply the more positive approach to selfcare and the ageing process. Positive attitude is everything. Pro-ageing is more inclusive than the anti-ageing approach, which very often can be judgmental. And finally: pro-ageing is all about ACCEPTING yourself for who you are at any age, make the best of it and ENJOY your age. That’s all.

Do I enjoy myself ageing with all the changes that come with it? Yes! Years and life experience matter, it gives you this touch of wisdom that you don’t have at 20. Sometimes is not easy, facing also perimenopause, but who said it would be easy?  Beauty is not about filters and fillers that make look everyone the same. It is about being yourself, taking care about your mind and body and respecting your skin’s and understanding its needs. Simple is that. Beauty clinics, salons, etc. don’t want you to think this way, it is not profitable.


I have an 18-year-old daughter and I decided not to teach and preach, but to act and show. She looks what I am doing, not listening what I am saying. The result is a beautiful young woman, that looks like 15-year-old, detesting all kind of makeup, fake eyelashes and nails, BUT taking care of herself – skin and hair. I am advocating for the same approach with other women, at any age, because in the end of the day the inner peace is what matters, it is priceless. I have created Bonésse with the same spirit and philosophy behind – feeling good and embracing your skin at any age. Having a basic skin care routine made of cleanser, toner, serum and moisturizer is the way to go towards healthy and glowing skin. With time you can add an exfoliant or some boost for additional care, but the way we shower and brush our teeth, we should take care of our skin. Sooner or later your skin will thank you for supplying it with nutrients and water, protecting it from the environmental aggressors, cleansing it….all this is so easy and affordable. You do not have to spend a fortune to look well, just need to choose wise and simple formulations, which will not overload the skin or clogging your pores. Our best seller the Face Shield Serum is an example of the simplest formulation possible – only botanicals, vitamins and a gelling agent.

And some final words of wisdom from my grandmother, she used to say: “Daughter, if the gravity can keep a 4000kg elephant to the ground, your face will sag for sure, better later rather than sooner”.

                              And remember; your best age is now!